I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize