youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
