is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
