Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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