margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
