Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
then he tried to convert me to islam
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
