He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
