the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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