this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
