Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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