I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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