why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
