youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You ruined the universe
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
