Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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