Cold hands, warm shart.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
