addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize