How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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