I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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