id be glad to
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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