So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
it hurts more in the daytime
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
