I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
