I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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