I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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