Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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