I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
