My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I did not marry a roomba.
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