Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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