Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
