it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
