you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
