living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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