Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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