We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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