real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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