The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
