We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
