I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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