just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
