You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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