Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
