Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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