xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Panties = found
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