How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
