I accidentally had phone sex last night
She said her name was "party"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
