Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
