i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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