& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
