So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
