haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
