It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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