Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
