my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
