im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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