I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
