Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
