Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
