I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
