i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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