who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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