i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
