Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
