you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
