Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
