I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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