I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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