he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
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