When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
