no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
