so explain again why im purple
no
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
