What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
